Becoming A Father

Becoming A Father (Deut.6; Eph.6:4)

So many thoughts run through my mind as I think about my son on the way. So much of my life has been spent worrying about me, fixing my problems, overcoming my issues, forgiving myself, and struggling to keep myself whole before God. The cycle of self-improvement never ends individually; however, as we age and enter new phases of life we should have a good deal of our former issues worked out so we can better focus our time on the new challenges before us. Especially as a man, the childish ways of before are no longer acceptable and one must step up to be the head of his household. Selfishness as head of the household, provider, protector, and as a leader is something that should be far from each of us. Now that I have my own household that I am responsible for, my life and how I conduct myself affects more than me, it directly affects my household. My actions will influence my son, he will learn what kind of man to be primarily by watching and learning from me. What a sobering thought.

When Erin entered my life, things changed and "I" became "we"; that choice wasn't even a difficult one either; she was who I had been searching for and who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so "we" just made sense. We have lived as husband and wife for almost two years now and have a son on the way, so once again our life will be "we" as a child enters our household. Again, this just seems natural to me, to us, and it's what we've both always wanted.

What do I want, as a man, out of life? This. A family of my own. Aside from my soul and my Savior, my family is the most precious thing to me in this life. So, naturally, I'm very protective about who and what enters my home so as not to bring any harm to any of my family. My charge is to actively pursue what is right, to do right by them and lead them in the paths of righteousness; my goal is to lead them home to our Lord; my task is to not lose any of my household to the evil one. What a large task, but also what a privilege that God has seen fit to entrust these blessings in my life to my care.

As a father, so many things occur to me as I prepare to meet my son face to face. I know that I will never cease wanting what's best for him; whether that be in the form of changing myself to be a better man, a better example for him to follow as a Christian, as his father, as his mentor; or in the form of how we raise him, council him, help him to shape the world around him, teach him about life, love, and living a godly life. God is giving us a blank slate with this our child, and we are charged with writing on his heart the words of God, filling his life with an appreciation for his Creator, teaching him what it means to love, filling his heart with love for all, teaching him about his Creator and Sustainer of life, about Jesus Christ, and instructing him on the narrow path in the ways which lead to life eternal. The Lord has given us a life to mold in His ways, it is our prayer that we remember our task and take it seriously each day, that we not lose sight of our role before God, that we help him to see the beauty to life amidst the chaos, realize the blessings that only come from God.

I think of my role, what God has given me, what God expects, and I am overwhelmed with both gratitude and fear. Grateful - because God has blessed me, once again, more than I can ever put into words and has given me the blessing of a child to raise. Fear - that my mistakes, my missteps, and my temptation to become selfish will cause me to neglect my charge before Him, thus causing ruin upon several lives, not just my own anymore. Yet, my Lord has enabled me to live without fear knowing that the He has furnished me completely and has not left me without the proper tools to avoid these pitfalls, these missteps, these sins (2Tim.3:16-17). I know what I am capable of, what mistakes I can make, what horrible miscalculations I can carry out...and then I look to my Lord and know that through Him I can do what I am charged with. I make my vow to God that I will raise this child in the ways which lead to life and fulfill my role as his father in order that he may have a proper model to lead him to love and appreciation for his Heavenly Father (Deut.6; Eph.6:4). I am, and will continue to be, flawed in many respects - for I am human - but through my constant pursuing of what is perfect I hope to give my son the desire to look to his perfect, unflawed, just, and righteous Father in Heaven. What I teach in my home, as a father to a son, will give this child the pattern to one day look to his Heavenly Father and follow Him.

What a responsibility we have! Thanks be to God that He has not left us without instruction; through the application of His word we shall direct this child's soul back to Him. God grant me the strength and wisdom to persevere and be consistent in my life so that I may lead my house all the way home to You.

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